I love to bake. I like to sort of, kind of attempt to cook. I like to mix beverages. So I thought, “Why not throw in an old fashion recipe once in awhile?” First up? Cinnamon rolls. And no, I did not go to the local bakery to purchase. And I did not get a pre-mix of dry ingredients. I almost always (98% of the time) bake from scratch. (I’m not a math genius. The 98% was pretty arbitrary. But my point is, it’s incredibly rare for me not to mix and do it all myself.) What’s more nostalgic than whipping up a recipe with your own ingredients and the muscle of your own hand? And beyond that, it solicits childhood memories of the aromas wafting through the house while my Mom would be preparing something you knew was going to be incredible. Something she made with her own hands. Grandparents and aunts coaxing ingredients into something unforgettable at family dinners. Again, their own, not store bought. And anyone who knows my Mom, knows cinnamon rolls are one of those dishes for which she is known. So it seemed like a good place to start. When I bake, I play music. And I dance. And I drink. I’m not saying you have to do these things, but I can’t guarantee your recipe and final product will turn out quite right otherwise.

This recipe’s soundtrack:What you’ll need:

Dough

• 1 (or 10) champagne juice drinks, dependent upon baker’s discretion optional
• 1 packet of yeast (devil ingredient)
• 1/4 cup warm water
• 1 cup milk, scalded (poor milk)
• 1 cup sugar (yes, please)
• 1/4 cup shortening
• 3 1/2 cups flour
• 1 egg
• Your mom, to tell you when the water is the right temperature for the yeast optional but highly recommended
• killer dance moves optional

Filler

• sugar
• butter
• cinnamon

Icing optional

• Powder sugar
• milk or water
• Add milk or water to powder sugar until desired consistency. (I know, easy, right?)

>Soften yeast in warm water (~110 degrees) – If you are friends with yeast, this step will be easy for you. As yeast and I are not on the best of terms, we will by-pass the step of me having to try three (yes, you read that right, it is not your multiple champagne juice drinks distorting) yeast packets. (And no, it wasn’t because of my champagne juice drinks.) Needless to say yeast and I are not on speaking terms right now, we’ve decided to “take a break.” I’m going to assume I can see other baking ingredients in the time being.

>Take a drink of champagne juice drink, if applicable. (Trust me, you’ll need it)

>Scald the milk. Combine milk, sugar, shortening, salt. Let cool to lukewarm.

>Add 1 1/2 cups of flour, beat well.

>Beat in yeast and egg. Add remaining flour. (Yes! Getting to beat the yeast. It deserves it.)

>Place dough in greased bowl, turning over to grease the whole blob. Cover, let rise 1 1/2-2 hours. (This is an ideal time to hone those killer dance moves.)

>Take 1/2 of dough. Lightly flour surface for rolling out. Roll out in a globular shape (Hey, I never claimed to be a professional).

>Spread butter over dough. Sprinkle with sugar. Sprinkle with cinnamon. (All of those are dependent upon your preference for taste.) Roll lengthwise and seal edge. (Basically, make a big worm.) Cut in 1-inch slices. (Now slice the worm up.)

>Place cut side down in greased pan. Cover. Let rise about 30-40 minutes. Bake 375 degrees, 20-25 minutes. Frost.

I have to thank my landlord/neighbor, Jack, for the use of the rolling pin. Otherwise, a bottle of wine would have been utilized for the task. (And, yes, I have done that before, and it works. It also leaves a ridge from the bottom of the bottle, but it just adds character.) And many thanks to my amazing parents for answering all five of my calls to ask questions. I’m sure if the phone had rang one more time, they would have pretended to not be home.

Now, who’s going to eat these?. . .